Loneliness

This loneliness is a candle-lit

Kind of Intimate

Absorbed by my own isolation

I ignore the creeping sensation

Of acceptance

I’m flirting with happiness

And togetherness

Losing focus ever so slightly

Touching my feet lightly

On the barren ground of

Rom-ance

I need a mom-ment

To pull myself together

Just when I’m getting used to this isolated pattern of weather

The sun breaks through with hope and a fleeting promise

That the sun itself can’t keep

So While i write my poems and my pens gently weep

I play George Harrison and the Beatles

Who, like me,

Stay stuck on repeat

Searching for understanding in the wrong places

Inside of vinyl albums or CDs preserved in plastic cases

Understood only by memories, ancient

While the rest of my peers

Who have shared similar years

Urge me not to fret

As they preach patience

I’m not afraid of loneliness

Inside of my own mind

Is my favorite place to vacation

But there are temptations

Soft, and preceded by kisses and whispers

That provide exhilarating sensation

Then moments that follow

Elation, dedication, inspiration,

Miscommunication, desperation

Then back to this same isolation

Expectation is the poison that kills appreciation

Just trying to chill

Let the feelings feel how they feel

Be real to be real

Sit and be still

Heart on the sleeve

But the sleeve’s made of steel

I’m not stuck in a rut

I know how to love

But love doesn’t love me enough

The soul’s coming out of the cuffs

Free to express

Im Not sugarcoating the rough

I’m not what you want?

So what?!

I’ve got 2 or 3 good friends

And 2 or 3 good girls you’d call sluts

I’m about me anymore

No ifs ands or buts

Cuz I don’t have a lot left to give

Maybe 2 or 3 fucks

But for some that simply isn’t enough

I guess I’m the kind of love that they call “tough”

Give me blank paper and a pen

Might as well be a canvas with brush

Produce poems and patterns

Woven together so lush

Amazing how such a connection with his own words

can leave a man so out of touch

Amazing how trying to forget

Can make a man miss so much

But is he missing the past?

Or is he missing his future?

Perspective holding together a ripped heart

That was so simply sutured

This loneliness isn’t loneliness after all

And it certainly isn’t lowliness

Cuz I caught myself during the fall

Alone isn’t lonely

So don’t be confused when it calls.

And when love comes back

Prepare yourself and your heart for the brawl

Love doesn’t come easy

it’s time to tear down walls

You can’t score if you play defense

When it’s your turn with the ball

Physically and emotionally ready

For the next part of my journey

Constantly learning

As the world stays constantly turning

All the while the fire inside of my heart is constantly burning

With a desire to find home

A place for which my soul is constantly yearning

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s